This just in: Elderly Nuns Joins Priests in Molest-Little-Boys Campaign.

Ew.

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If you had a final exam scheduled for 1:00 on Thursday, December 14, would you buy an expensive plane ticket to fly to your home state on Wednesday, December 13?

Well...of course not. But let's pretend for a moment that you did.

If you were unable to attend the final exam, would you wait until a week before the exam -- the second to last class period! -- to tell your teacher? Of course not. Especially if your final was a 50-point group presentation. You know there's no way to make up a group presentation that includes a question-and-answer session, so you'd better make prior arrangements if skipping the final is an absolute must -- which, unless someone died, it isn't. (Never mind that you'd be screwing your group by leaving early and just not telling them about it.)

You would understand when your teacher explained that there's no way to make up the presentation points -- especially if you sprung the news on her at the last minute. Of course, being the rational person that you are, you would talk to your teacher before booking the plane ticket, because you'd want to determine the consequences of skipping the final. Then you'd weigh those consequences against the higher price of flying a few days later. You certainly would not be a dick to the teacher about your own mistake -- especially when your classmates, who are supposedly working on their group projects, are listening in. You would definitely not try to make the teacher out to be the asshole. Not that your classmates would buy your bullshit anyway. They know the teacher would be the asshole if she changed the rules for you -- rules that were established back in October, when your classmate inquired about leaving the state before the final exam.

 

If you were a college freshmen and this was your first finals week, wouldn't you be extra cautious not to fuck it up? You'd think. Some people are evidently oblivious to the way it all works, and assume that finals week works like any other week -- some people apparently think classes meet at their regular times and on their regular days. Some people think that since their class meets on Tuesday and Thursday at 2:30, the class will convene at 2:30 on Tuesday and Thursday during finals week as well -- despite the teacher's reminders about the final exam time and date. Some people seem to think it's OK to book a plane ticket for Thursday, because hell...there's class on Tuesday, and so there must also be final presentations on Tuesday, and it's OK to skip the final final. After all, the syllabus says that students are allowed 4 absences... WTF?

I'm so glad I wasn't one of those freshmen who needed a severe slap in the face to wake me up to the reality that no one was going to change my diapers in college.